tick tock tick tock

Oh my, oh my! Time does fly doesn't it ? I can't believe Halloween and Thanksgiving have passed and Christmas is just around the corner. It honestly boggles my mind! Where does it all go??

As I look back, I can't even really think of what I DID this year.. no really. what did I do this year?? Does anybody know?? I know it was 98% sober..(go me.) And for that reason alone it should at least be memorable. :P I worked at Joes for half a year..... and I... switched to mortgages... I went to Park City... I hiked a few times.. got into Zumba..( this is really hurting my brain.).. started and COMPLETED group therapy ( another go me.).... got better with money?? Sheesh. that was tough. My point is, Time is a sneaky bitch. You just live each week for your days off, your time off. You do the same thing over and over and before you know it, that's your life. Time completely freaks me out. I want to look back at 2011 and be like, I DID this and this and this and my life is better for it..because. That shouldn't be hard to do because I already have several things on 2011's agenda. 1. be off probation ( yay! ) 2. Get married ( YAY!) 3. Move downtown. ( HOORAY! ) but still... That is going to be my end of the year resolution. Make an impact. My life is becoming as selfish as this blog post. This could have a large impact on my restless unease and contention with my day to day...

Wish me luck!

I guess it's just how it goes....

Well... winter has fallen.. or arrived? However you say it, it's a bitch. and the happy seems to be evaporating out of me. I get so...... blue in the winter. I don't get it. The snow isn't THAT bad.. It's pretty and poetic.. the cold doesn't REALLY bother me.. It's refreshing and wakes up my lungs. but the sky is gray and the streets grow empty and my joy for living goes into hibernation mode.. I need to move to cancun. Yes, my insatiable nature will no longer be satisfied by California or Florida, or even Hawaii. Give me Cancun or give me death!! Or Jamaica .. Or the bahamas.. or Peter island( look it up and start drooling). Yes, any of these places will do... I better tell Austin... UNTIL THEN.... I'm going to start writing more.... and again. :) For better or worse, talent or no talent, writing makes me better. And if by the off chance any one in the entire world ever find me the slightest bit entertaining, I will keep this blog.

I have been thinking of making a new blog, on a different website. Even though I haven't done much with this one. I think that's just me trying to avoid the issue. Of putting brain to computer screen and getting the clicking sounds in motion. I am afraid of writing. I am afraid of photography and I am afraid of painting. It has been a ridiculously terrifying revelation. I am afraid of my own success. I subconsciously create roadblocks for myself and problems of why I cant do what I love, because I am AFRAID.... Of being good at it? succeeding at it?? maybe ... but I think not.. I have come to find that I am afraid....(drum roll please).. that I'm NOT. what if I can't write? No one will ever publish anything of mine and if someone did NO ONE would like it? My pictures were average and my paintings sucked? Then what? I'm not special deep and introspective Kimberly Megan Bauer.. I become desperate, ordinary, and..dare I say it? Plain?*shudders* Facing this fear could do one of two things. 1: keep me locked in a personal cacoon of insecurities. Tightly held inside the box and live a semi normal life. Or, 2: to hell with it. To hell with success and failure! Throw those two pretentious words in the garbage and live for enjoyment. I prefer the latter. All my life I have been surrounded by the fear of failing. The pressure to succeed , to be found wanting. WELL NO MORE! My life is going to be a series of enjoyable events. If I don't enjoy it, I wont do it. . I will live to enjoy. Spend time with people I enjoy and do whatever I enjoy. What an interesting idea.. Live to enjoy. enjoy to live.. it just might be crazy enough to work..

We are the Winter Ninjas!

So every winter without fail, I get an uncomfortable blend of fatter and sadder. I hate winter. There I said the H word. and I mean it. I have been dreeaaaaadddddiiinnng its arrival but it is still insisting on coming regardless. sooo...... somethings gotta give. Thank goodness for good friends right? My friend Denise and I decided to make a bajillion plans for winter, keeping ourselves active and busy. This should keep the humdiddily's away! So, then I thought, perhaps it would be a fun idea to make a to - do list and then a recall of each event on this here blog? it may move to another blog eventually, but you get the idea. :) I think it will be fun. So Most of the upcoming posts are going to be the winter ninja chronicles, with pictures and all that fun stuff.

The 1st to do list ( in the making , naturally) :

1. Snow shoeing.. How ironic we just " try to get into hiking" when the snow is days away.. snow shoeing will fix this dilema!

2. Wise guys comedy club- cuz everyone needs to laugh.

3. ROAD TRIP! Just when the winter has us on our knees and we just can't take it anymore, we will leave the snow and go to a much warmer climate. :)

4. Girls dinner! What girl doesn't like getting all fancy every now and again and turn a few heads in a nice restaurant?

5. Hot air balloon!!! Don't know if you CAN do that in the winter... but by George we will find out!

6. I think some sort of craft was mentioned.. i forget..

Obviously , the list is a little too short to last all winter. It is a work in progress :) Please let me know if you want to be included on any of the outings, or if you have any other ideas. Winter Ninjas for LIFE!!!... or at least this dreaded season. :)